"The Burrito Burglar"

This has to be the best police story ever, written by Reddit user MaverickF14.

"This happened a few weeks ago. I woke up one morning at 5:00 A.M. tired as fuck. I put my uniform, checked my gear, kissed my sleeping wife, and slowly walked to my patrol car parked in front of my apartment building, probably looking like a stereotypical zombie in a police uniform that you might see on TV or in a video game.

I started my normal routine: Got in the car, turned on the radar, checked on duty, and started playing music from the best "prepare for a police shift" album of all time: "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim OST". Now for my 15 minute commute to the city.

My vehicle was getting low on gas so I stopped at my favorite gas station to fill up, and went inside for my daily breakfast burrito. I went in, put my Sausage, Egg, and Cheese burrito in a paper tray, and grabbed all the needed hot sauces. Then I grabbed a cup and filled it with water, just like I do as the beginning of every shift. After this, still in zombie mode, and went back to my patrol vehicle with the goodies and continued on with my day.
At about noon, I get a call from my Sergeant, who simply said "I need to talk to you at the department."

Oblivious as to why he would need to talk to me, I began heading to the police department. Millions of thoughts rushed through my head, all wondering what he would want to discuss with me. Upon my arrival, I was directed to my Lieutenant's office. When I walked in, I heard a stern, "Close the door". At this point I knew this wasn't good. I sat down, disturbed as fuck, being stared down by my Corporal. Sergeant, and Lieutenant.

After a preface from my Sergeant, he says, "Tell me everything that happened this morning, especially at the gas station.

I didn't say anything, just sat there and thought about it again. "Aaawww.......shit. I forgot to pay for my burrito." Then I just heard "Guess what, that's theft."

After a "Come to Jesus" moment with my superiors, I left, went straight to the gas station, and paid for my burrito. They didn't want to press charges.

Although nothing really came of this incident, the shitty part of this is I can't go back and fix what that looked like to the other customers. All they saw was what looked like an entitled cop not paying for a burrito.

On a lighter tone, Now other officers have nicknamed me "The Burrito Burglar" and jokingly ask for tips on how to steal stuff when I see them.

Tl;dr: I'm a police officer. Walked into a gas station I go into every morning and, being in "autopilot" mode, I walked out with the same burrito I get every morning, and forgot to pay for it."

Source:
Reddit

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